What Do You Really Believe? What's in Your Heart?

This past Sunday, I pondered this question.

If God blesses me with #6 and I qualify for Maternity Medicaid, should I apply or should I expect God to meet my needs through other means?

I have chosen to leave my family planning in God's hands. 

Life and death are His choice, not mine

So, if I find myself expecting baby #6, then I trust God will provide for it, (and He does)

but do I consider qualifying for maternity medicaid as a way God provides for His blessings, or is that wrong to assume that?

Yesterday, I posted about Gov Assistance, Should it Exist?

I used Gov Assistance with baby #2 and #5.

I feel like God provided for us through the maternity medicaid program.

However, others are quick to tell me they think differently.

So, I ask you What do you really believe? What would you do and what's the condition of your heart?

Think long and hard before you answer......... Are you willing to change things? Are you willing to step up, get involved and make a difference?

I lost 2 babies in a 6 month time period, Aug 2009 and Feb 2010.

Both I feel were gifts from God. Yet for whatever reason, God gives and God takes.

If I had not gone through those miscarriages, I would not be able to relate to women who have, and through those experiences, God is now using me to help, comfort, support and encourage other women in their calling to motherhood and sometimes through the journeys of loss, miscarriage and infertility.

When we found out we were pregnant with #5, Kaitlyn, even though our doctor does not accept medicaid, we qualified and she accepted it. We have private insurance that would pay 80-90%, but she wanted us to have the best care possible, and whatever might come up, testing, procedures, hospitalization; whatever it took to bring Kaitlyn home, she wanted it cover by all means possible. So, the doctor took both our insurance and maternity medicaid. 

Sure enough, at 33 weeks, my water broke and I spent only 11 days in the hospital. I was very blessed that God gave us Kaitlyn at 34 weeks, healthy, 5 pounds and we went home without NICU. However, those 11 days resulted in a $37K bill. If we had only had insurance, we would have paid about $4K out of pocket. We would have eventually done it, but it would have put a huge financial stress on this family and that was only for 11 days! What about the sweet mommas who are hospitalized for months in order to bring home the babies God gives them? Would you expect them to not accept what they qualify for and expect them to slowly pay out 10-20% of $100s of Thousands of dollars? Would you help them pay or would you point them to medicaid? Could it possibly be that in some cases, God does provide by providing Gov assistance because we can't help everybody or we won't help those in need?

I had a lady come visit me in the hospital. She had no idea I was on medicaid. I was telling her about a mom who delivered a baby at 22 weeks. Her first question to me, ( and this woman was a church going woman), her first question to me was, " Is this woman a black woman on medicaid?" 

I was mortified!!!

I didn't know and it didn't matter.

I was praying for the baby to live and for momma who delivered her.

This woman made a gross general assumption that most people in the system are black and most people in the system are in it because they are lazy or feel the government owes them something. It was horrible to hear those words come out of her mouth. This is a woman I highly respected. She's one of the women in our community who  promote the Right to Life, Anti-Abortion movement, but here she was practically telling me that these black women get pregnant on purpose to stay on welfare and let us and the gov pay all their bills.

I lost respect for her that day. What's the condition of her heart? What does she really believe?

Is pregnancy a gift or a choice? and would she be willing to pay my bills if I got pregnant again and could not? Would she consider my baby a gift or a choice? 

Would she willing to pay my bills to keep me off the system? 

These things I ponder...... 

If life and death is really in God's hands and we should be helping one another.... would she consider the Wingfield's as being foolish if we were pregnant with #6 and then found it hard to pay bills and make ends meet? 

That's what I wonder. That's my challenge. What do you really believe? What's really the condition of your heart? 

What would you be willing to do? Do you really believe all you say you believe and are you willing to do something about it? or are you just going to be critical and judge people. 

Would she be quick to tell me I shouldn't have any more, I should be on birth control,or get my tubes tied? and yet stand on street corner and protest on Right to Life Day? 

What Would Jesus Do?

What Would You Do?

It's all or nothing. 

Where do you stand?

What's in Your Heart?

Think. Pray. Do.